This morning, I was feeling kind of rubbish.
I mean really, really crappy.
Physically, I have the flu and I feel knackered and run down.
Mentally, I am going through a major wobble, a major ‘Why is this happening?’ dreading the future, thinking all the negative thoughts, thinking ‘What the F**K is going to happen to me? How will I survive? Should I just try and get a job in a supermarket? How could I ever think that I can be happy or successful?’ etc etc etc
Emotionally, I was just trying to walk to the coffee shop without bursting into tears, and just about managing it.
Sometimes, life can seem really hopelessly messy.
My life certainly seems really messy at times.
And it doesn’t matter how many qualifications you have, how much therapy you have had, how much time you spend meditating, doing yoga and drinking wheat grass, life STILL gets messy……….or is that just me?
When this happens to me, I figure I have two choices.
One is curl up in a heap with Netflix and chocolate.
Two is ask some useful questions. Not ‘why is this happening?’ but more like ‘What could I do with this? What can I learn from this? How can this be better? How can I see this differently?’
Today, I was very lucky because I had already arranged to have a life coaching session, and Fiona, my coach is such a gorgeous person that I already knew that just having her around would cheer me up.
But Fiona did a lot more than just cheer me up.
She made me see a whole lot of things differently.
One of the things that often trips me up in life and gets me down is the belief that I am not good enough.
That belief can be applied to an AMAZING array of situations. For example, when I get physically sick, I start thinking I am not good enough at looking after myself, that is why I am sick. And so I was busy beating myself up for not having a better immune system when Fiona arrived, and I had actually written it down. ‘I am not good enough’.
When she asked me what I would like to work on during the session, I said that I would like to work on having more confidence in myself.
I am also a life coach (Fiona and I did our training together with the Positive Success Group) and of course it is very, very challenging for me to admit that even though I am a trained life coach, my life still gets messy, because that is another reason to think that i am not good enough! If I were good enough I tell myself, my life would be perfect!!!!
I mentioned to Fiona that I think that having more confidence in myself would help me to believe that I can look after myself. I also told her that I suspected that I might have some self limiting beliefs that need to be looked at.
One thing you discover in life coaching (and in life) is that the things that you believe can seriously impact the way that you behave and what action you take towards achieving your goals, or towards sabotaging them.
So far, in my life, I have had a lot of successes.
When you look at them as a list, they are pretty impressive.
I aced my exams at school, without ever needing to work at it.
When I was sixteen, I opened a vintage clothes shop, and got myself featured in Image magazine.
When I worked for the Sock Shop chain in London, I doubled the turnover in my branch in six weeks, just by paying attention to the vibe in the shop.
As a journalist, I got to write for everyone from Paris Vogue and L’uomo Vogue to The Times, The Guardian, The Sunday Times and Marie Claire.
I have qualified as a Reiki healer, Pranic healer, Angel Channeller, Tarot reader, yoga teacher, television presenter, and life coach, I have written six books, and presented my own radio show for three years, I have lectured in public speaking at Trinity College…….the list goes on, and there are stacks of lovely testimonials.
Not to mention the fact that I have been with my soul mate for 30 years, we have traveled the whole world together, become friends with all kinds of incredible people and had experiences that other people only dream about or read about in magazines.
But where do I keep my diplomas and certificates?
Buried in a drawer somewhere.
Where do I keep the testimonials? In the same place.
Do I let myself FEEL like a success? Like someone who is ACCOMPLISHED and CONFIDENT? Not really!
Quite a lot of the diplomas, I had forgotten about until Fiona got me to pull them out and spread them on the table and really look at them.
In life coaching, you will notice that the SELF LIMITING BELIEFS can take root very easily, and lead to more and more negative thoughts.
The EMPOWERING BELIEFS ……things like ‘I am really resourceful’ or ‘I am hugely creative’ or ‘I am a very fast learner’………..those ones can get forgotten about.
What happens when you let your thoughts, actions, feelings, and behaviour be dictated by the negative beliefs?
You feel pretty crappy.
What happens when you deliberately replace the negative beliefs with empowering ones?
At first, you just start to feel a bit different.
You start to think ‘Hey, maybe the stuff I used to think is not actually true.’
Then you start to wonder about what might really be true.
THEN you start to wonder about what might really be possible.
THAT is when the magic starts to happen.
After our session today, I became acutely aware of three things.
One, I am much more successful than I have been giving myself credit for being.
Two, I know a LOT about not being confident and what that does to a person, but also a LOT about what I can do to feel more confident, in other words, I have learned a lot from this experience.
Three, life coaching is AMAZING at changing a person’s perspective and giving them motivation, hope and enthusiasm EVEN if they are already a trained life coach and even if they feel really rubbish.
So having said all that, if you think that there are some goals that you would like to achieve and if you feel that something might have been holding you back, you can schedule a consultation with me or Fiona or one of the other gorgeous, fabulous, wise and wonderful coaches, to see if life coaching might be a good way to get you to where you want to be?
To Schedule a Life Coaching Consultation, click here: VMC Life Coaching Consultation