horsleyThe death of a loved one can be extremely hard for those of us who are left behind.  This is a conversation with the angels that I channelled when Sebastian Horsley, one of my very dearest friends died.  It may be helpful for anyone who has lost a loved one.

One of the most challenging situations I can think of is death.  Especially the death of those I love.  Sebastian, one of my dearest friends just died, and it is hard not to think only negative thoughts about it, even though I like to think of myself as enlightened!  I think about how I will miss him, how I don’t know where he is, or what has happened to him.  I don’t know if he has any awareness of me anymore, or of anyone.  I don’t know if he can be reached, communicated with in the way we used to communicate.  I don’t know how not to feel that it is bad that he died.  Can you help?

A.

Dearest one, it is indeed true that death represents a tremendous challenge for all but the most enlightened human beings!  Therefore it does not mean that you are not enlightened, the fact that you have mixed feelings when you think about it.  For of all the situations that you will encounter, this one requires the most radical re-alignment of your perspective on life, if you are to not only accept it, but also to embrace it.

However evolved you may be in your outlook, you are essentially programmed to want to stay alive and to hold onto those things which are familiar to you and to those people that you hold dear.  When you think of your loved ones dying, it is difficult not to feel pain, and to feel fear, both for them and for your own sense of loss.  We sympathise most passionately with these fears.  And it is one of our greatest joys to be able to assist you in changing the way that you think of death and the way that you feel about it, so that you can let go of these fears and of the suffering that accompanies them.

As you can see, there is much to say about death.  But it may be most useful in this instance to begin with your immediate concern, which is the death of your friend.

Death is not an easy thing to comprehend with the intellect, so we shall begin with an exercise to assist you in comprehending it with the heart, which is more intelligent.  Firstly, if you would, we would ask you to think of your friend Sebastian.  Using your heart, see if you can sense or attune to how he is feeling right at this moment, just as you would have done when he was alive and you were about to communicate with him.  Do not attempt to use your logical mind to guess what he might be feeling, but rather allow yourself to receive an intuitive impression.

Me

Strangely enough, ever since he died, I have felt only positive impressions of how he himself is feeling.  I sense him being quite jovial, quite light hearted and free.  His funeral was beautiful, it actually stopped the traffic in the West End, there were so many people there, and we followed his coffin through the streets of Soho.  It was a gorgeous, sunny day, and the mourners looked amazing, lots of pretty girls in high heels and hardly any clothes.  It made the covers of some of the papers and it was on the news on telly.   Stephen Fry gave a speech in the church about how fantastic Sebastian was.

Sebastian loved attention, and I couldn’t help thinking that this was exactly what he would have wanted, if he could have chosen a way to go.  All day, whenever I thought about him, I just felt happy for him, because it truly seemed that he was happy.  I don’t know if I was imagining that?  Was I?  Is it wrong to think that someone would be happy to have died?

A

May we ask a question?

Me

You may.

A

Have you known many people who have died?

Me

Yes, quite a few.

A

And in what manner have these people died, and at what ages?

Me

In every manner imaginable.  And at all different ages.  I have known young people who have died, and middle aged people and old people.  I have known suicides, overdoses, car accidents, people who died of heart attacks, cancer, diabetes, lots of different things.

A

And you have attended many funerals?

Me

Yes, I have.

A

Thinking carefully, at these funerals have you ever sensed that the person who died was unhappy?

Me

No.  I haven’t.  I am always surprised by how peaceful dead people seem to be.  And I almost always sense their presence in the room, when I look at them.  People think I am very weird, but I actually like funerals.

A

Do you generally find that you can sense how people are feeling?

Me

Yes.  I think I am a bit over sensitive to how people are feeling.  My problem is usually that I want to stop feeling other people’s feelings and just feel my own.

A

And so, do you think you can trust your sense of what these dead people are feeling?

Me

I don’t know.  I don’t know what being dead really entails.  I don’t know if people still have a ‘presence’ when they are dead.

A

Do you believe that the entirety of you is contained in your human form?

Me

I don’t think it is.  But I cant prove that it is not.

A

Have you ever communicated with a being who did not have a physical body?

Me

Well you know the answer to that!  I speak to guides and angels and they don’t have physical bodies.

A

Do you believe that they exist, even if they do not have bodies that you can see?

Me

Yes, I definitely have no doubt that they exist.

A

Can you prove that they exist?

Me

Ha!  No.  Of course I cant.

A

And so, is it possible that your dead friends still exist, even if they do not have their physical bodies?

Me

It is possible, yes.

A

Does this make it easier for you, when you think about death?

Me

I still miss people.

When I let myself think about how Sebastian died, and how I didn’t get to say goodbye and how I will miss him, I feel sad and heavy hearted.  But when I just imagine he is here in the room, I feel this lightness.  In fact I feel love coming back to me.  But it is hard not to think that this is just my imagination, and the other thoughts, the tragic ones are the real thoughts that I should be thinking.  And when I think about the future, about how I will never see him again or speak to him, then I feel sad and heavy hearted again.

A

You say that when you think of him being here in the room, you feel love?

Me

Yes.  I sometimes pretend that I can send love to other people who are dead, just by thinking of them and imagining I can.

A

How does it feel to do this?

Me

It feels good.  I actually feel that they feel it, and I feel them responding and sending love back.

A

Notice how you feel when you are sending these loving thoughts.  Notice if it is possible to simultaneously feel sad and heavy hearted.

Me

No.  I can only feel one or the other.  The sad thoughts bring back the sad feelings.

A

Your mind is very powerful, as you know.  It is a force to be reckoned with!  When you focus on the thought that you are sending and receiving love, you do not feel sad.  But when you think about your loss and about how you will not see this person again, you feel sad.  Many of you also feel sad about death because you feel sorry for the person who has died.  You decide that they are missing out on something good, which is life.  You also decide that death is bad, and that the person cannot possibly be having a good time, if they are dead!

Me

I think that is understandable, given that we don’t actually know what happens when a person dies.  We don’t know what happens to them or where they go.

A

And yet you decide that it must be bad, even if you don’t know what it is like?

Me

I suppose we do!

A

Do you have any evidence to suggest that death will be a bad experience?  Do you have any reason to believe that it will not be a happy adventure?

Me

No.  No evidence!

A

Do you believe that tomorrow will be a bad thing for you?  Do you believe that tomorrow will be unpleasant?

Me

No.  I don’t think that tomorrow will be bad.

A

Do you know for sure what will happen tomorrow?

Me

No.  Of course I don’t.

A

What evidence do you have that tomorrow will not be bad?

Me

No evidence!  Only that today is not bad and yesterday was not bad.  I generally don’t have bad days anymore, not since I started talking to you!

A

When you were a child, did you look forward to becoming an adult and living your life?

Me

Yes I did.  I always wanted to be an adult!  I was quite certain that I would have a very exciting life.

A

What made you believe that you would have an exciting life?

Me

I just knew I would.

A

And yet you do not feel the same way about your death?

Me

I don’t know what to think about death.  It is an unknown quantity.

A

Do you think it is possible that death might also be the start of an adventure?  In the same way that your birth was the start of this one that you call life?

Me

Yes.  I think that is possible.

A

May we just say that the more you spend time experiencing love and experiencing yourself as love, as your true nature, your soul self, the more you will come to know that death is not a bad thing.  Indeed death is no more than the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next.  And in the same way that you would not wish to prevent any of your loved ones from starting upon this adventure that is life, you will not wish to detain them from their next adventure either!

If you find yourself focussing on what you have lost, when a person dies, ask yourself this question.  ‘How can I find the essence of what I had when this person was alive?  How can I find even more joy in my life now than I had when they were here?’

You may find that you are holding a belief that your life will ‘never be the same again’.  You may find that you are holding a belief that you can no longer have the same happiness, the same joy in your life without this person.  This is especially strong if the person was your partner or sibling, or was very close to you.

It is true that your life will never be the same again.

It is true that you will no longer have the same happiness.

It is also true that your life never stays the same.

From moment to moment, your life is constantly changing.

Constant change is the nature of life.

Happiness too is constantly changing.

What is wonderful about happiness is the variety of ways in which it can be found and experienced.

HAPPINESS HAS INFINITE MODES OF EXPRESSION

You have no idea yet how many ways there are for you to be happy.

But if you are not interested in finding them, you may never experience them.  They may be overlooked, if you choose to overlook them.

Death is not the end of happiness.

Not your death.  Not anyone else’s death.  Not if you do not wish it to be.

Think often about how you can be happy.

Ask to be shown the many ways, and you will be shown the many ways!

 

speaking suppers

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