possible 11‘Channelling Your Inner Bitch’ workshops came about because both my colleague Sarah Mc Candliss and I both knew that we were putting up with s**t in our lives, tolerating stuff that was making us angry, frustrated, resentful and most of all DRAINED of energy.

But we both knew that it is SCARY to stand up for yourself, scary to rock the boat and risk disapproval and conflict….like a lot of people we just wanted everyone else to be really happy and to love us a lot and think we were the nicest people they knew…..

But it wasn’t working.

Because we were always saying yes to doing things for other people even if it was exhausting and leaving no time for our own work/health/social lives, people didn’t like us, they were scared of us!  Scared because we were irritable and cranky and prone to smashing plates and stomping around slamming doors (okay, that was just me)simon-cowell

And so, we devised ‘Channelling You Inner Bitch’, a workshop to take people through the steps that are needed to take us from martyrs and wimps to strong, confident and assertive people.

Okay, at first it is not easy.  And yes, there is a risk that some people might not approve of you, when you tell them that you wont go to their party, do their washing, listen to their bullshit, clean up their mess………

But it is worth it when you realise two thing.

One….you didn’t die.  They didn’t die.  You are both still alive.

Two….  You now have  all that extra time and energy that you used to spend doing stuff for other people and resenting it.  You now have more confidence, more self respect, more sass, more courage and you sparkle with that strange glow that comes from being in charge of yourself….you become inspiring to others._41195437_goldie300

Today, we got a testimonial from one of the women who attended our first workshop.  It made me cry because it proved to me that the workshop works.  A woman who had been feeling small and unappreciated and resentful wrote to us and told us how the workshop had transformed her life.  Here it is:

Well. Where will I start and do you have all day?
I was despairing in my relationship,  an invisible woman with no time to devote to myself and MY interests. I just didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but I was hurting myself in the long run. Guess what?  I matter.  It’s self care really.  And my partner sets his alarm fifteen minutes early so he can give me a hug in the morning before he goes to work.  I despise conflict but knowing how to ask for what you need is very important . I need to be loved and shown love. I am a passionate and talented painter and some how I was putting doing laundry and dishes day in day out above expressing that. There is a mound of washing and dishes, my nails are done and I’ve been painting banshees all week. See the barren field of fucks I give , not growing over there. 🙂 I’m being seen and heard.  My poem was in a newspaper article, I’ve been getting dressed up and going to gigs.  Standing my ground in random verbal assault were Mr Aggressive’s last rebuttal was to call me an Evil Cunt . It’s not true,  but a compliment to my assertiveness.  I don’t have to put up with vile people. I’m a work in progress, continuing to use what I learned on the day and add to that.
WOULD YOU RECOMMEND THE WORKSHOP? ?IF YES, WHY? Yes. You need to save yourself before you disappear into a quiet, unforfilled, sad shell of your radiant self. If other people have learned to put your needs last and worse still , expect you do do the same, this is for you. You matter.

http://bit.ly/innerbtkts

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